We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
