Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
