he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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