i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
