sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
