lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
