so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
