i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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