the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
