This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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