Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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