I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I cut my penus on the lid.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
