I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
