there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
