if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
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I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
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Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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