Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
