And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize