I hate your face
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
