The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize