So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
