i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
