Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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