ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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