he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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