thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
