We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In other news, I just burned my penis
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
