Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
