quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
