im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Sorry my hands just texted you
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
