a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
