thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
