ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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