I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
