Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
