Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
