I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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