So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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