He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
