This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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