this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
