Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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