you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
