Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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