my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize