I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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