he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
