there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
