the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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