marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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