she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
