do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
