How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think i peed on brittanys purse
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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