i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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