Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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