He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
