Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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