Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
