We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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