So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i think i have herpe
just one?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
