Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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