Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
