I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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