Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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