I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
