Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
