i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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