i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Come share oat with me in your robe
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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